Faith communities rally to help family of young cancer patient
Photo caption: Peter Dudley, his five sisters and parents, Christine and Mark Dudley, have been overwhelmed by the support they have received while 4-year-old Peter has battled cancer. (Photo courtesy of the Dudley family)
By Jennifer Lindberg
Special to The Criterion
When the family of 4-year-old Peter Dudley found out that he had a brain tumor, they did the only thing they knew to do: storm heaven with prayers.
Always committed to the Catholic faith, the Dudleys began to lean on their faith and prayer even more as Peter underwent tests, surgery and chemotherapy.
“I can’t imagine going through this experience without our faith,” said Christine Dudley, Peter’s mother.
She believes that God had been preparing the family for Peter’s cancer.
Christine said a book she read several years ago reflected on how God knew from the beginning of time that the author would have to bear certain difficulties, but also gave her the grace she needed to get through them.
“I realized God made Peter knowing he would endure this, too,” Christine said. “This thought brought more peace about Peter going through the rigorous treatment required.”
The Dudleys also found themselves surrounded by a Catholic community that wasn’t going to let them go through their son’s illness alone.
Help came to the Dudley family in big ways.
At the time Peter was diagnosed, Mark and Christine were building a three-story addition onto their Fortville home. They also have five daughters, Anna, Teresa, Monica, Sarah and Catherine.
Construction stopped until the community at Christ the King Parish in Indianapolis—where the Dudleys formerly attended Mass—decided to finish the project with members of the Dudley’s new parish, St. Thomas the Apostle in Fortville.
Elizabeth Sowinski, a member of Christ the King Parish who is also a good friend of the family, thought this was something she could do for them.
Other parishioners stepped up, too. One member, a professional contractor, became the construction supervisor for the job. Crews were organized to complete the drywall, painting, plumbing and electrical work.
Construction work is still ongoing, and the project now includes people from several parishes throughout the archdiocese.
Another friend of the Dudleys offered them the use of his home in downtown Indianapolis so they could be close to Riley Hospital for Children. This also allowed Christine to continue home-schooling four of their daughters and kept the family together at a critical time.
They also have seen an outpouring of prayers, and people have been making meals for them on a continuing basis. An anonymous donor has given the family gas cards, too.
Overwhelmed by the help, especially with total strangers offering to finish their home addition, the Dudleys questioned whether they should accept such generous gifts.
“That same day, a close family friend reminded us that we needed to allow people an avenue to help us,” Mark said. The family realized that they did need the help, and that God wanted them to allow others to serve them in this capacity.
“Because of this tremendous outpouring of support, it has given us great confidence [that] Peter’s situation is ever-present before God,” Mark said. “It has also made us feel it is not just us moving through this process, but that this enormous group of people is going through it with us.”
Christine describes Peter as a typical 4-year-old boy who likes cars, trucks, trains and farm implements.
The only boy in a family of six children, Peter is happiest with his family. That joy is evident whether he is depicting an angel in a play they put on at home or playing and winning games.
However, the illness and tests have been hard on Peter.
“He is very shy,” Christine said, “and has difficulty talking with strangers. … Being in the hospital has been difficult for him in that it is a constant stream of strangers always wanting to speak to him.”
Peter’s responses to his treatment have varied. At first, he commented that he wanted to go home and looked forward to treatments that didn’t involve needles.
Sowinski said people want to help the Dudleys because they are a source of inspiration.
“The way they have handled this, you can tell they have a lot of faith,” Sowinski said, “and thank God they have that faith. They are able to live this out so peacefully.”
Peace comes for Christine and Mark in different ways.
For Mark, it comes through his quiet acceptance of the various occurrences.
“A bad day may turn out to be a blessing in disguise years down the road,” he said, “so I try not to get too worked up about the twists and turns of life.”
With his son so sick, he tries to take each day as it comes and not read too much into any events by trying to figure out what may happen in the future.
On the practical side, Mark finds himself praying an Our Father whenever he tries to predict Peter’s future and becomes anxious about it.
“Sometimes it may take a couple [Our Fathers],” he said, “but it always brings me peace and focuses me back on the present.”
For Christine, praying the rosary and chaplet of Divine Mercy brings peace, especially when she meditates on the visitation, the Nativity, the wedding feast at Cana and the carrying of the cross.
Since she read the diary of St. Faustina Kowalska, the Polish nun whose visions gave rise to the Divine Mercy devotions, Christine said she has “tried to foster the habit of embracing all that happens in our lives.”
Every time she finds herself afraid of what the future may hold for Peter, she asks for Jesus’ intercession or prays for help from a saint.
“Almost immediately, I’ve found a great peace,” she said, “as if God was saying, ‘That’s exactly what I wanted to hear.’ ”
Christine and Mark said they have found it difficult to pray for their son’s healing, although they are grateful for those who do.
For the Dudleys, it’s about accepting God’s plan.
“Eternity with Jesus is the goal we have for Peter,” Christine said, “and if this is the time that God has in mind for Peter to go to heaven, as hard as it may be, we want that to happen.”
(A spaghetti dinner fundraiser for the Dudley family will be held from 3:30 p.m. until 7:30 p.m. on Nov. 5 at Christ the King Parish, 1827 Kessler Blvd., East Drive, in Indianapolis. The cost is $5 per person or $25 per family. A trust fund for Peter Dudley is administered by Ed Steegmann, Ice Miller, L.L.C., One American Square, Suite 3100, Indianapolis IN 46282. Checks should be made payable to the Dudley Family Irrevocable Trust. For more information, contact Elizabeth Sowinski at emsowinski@catholic.org. To monitor Peter’s progress, log on to www.peterdudley.info.) †
