March 18, 2005

Rachel's Companions helps women heal
from the pain of abortion

By Mary Ann Wyand

An estimated one of every six Catholic women has had an abortion.

But the painful reality of that national statistic is shrouded in secrecy because most of the women don’t talk about their abortion experience due to feelings of grief, denial, shame or fear that have troubled them for years.

Lent is a time to grow closer to God, Servants of the Gospel of Life Sister Diane Carollo explained, and the Catholic Church offers several confidential ways for women suffering from the pain of abortion to seek spiritual and emotional healing.

As director of the archdiocesan Office for Pro-Life Ministry, Sister Diane coordinates the Church’s Project Rachel programs. Rachel’s Companions is a three-month reconciliation process and Rachel’s Network is an ongoing support group for women suffering from the pain of abortion. Future plans may include offering Rachel’s Vineyard Retreats in the archdiocese.

A new Rachel’s Companions group begins meeting on March 19, and women are invited to call Sister Diane for information about this abortion reconciliation process.

Rachel’s Companions is designed for Catholic women, she said, and is rooted in the Catholic tradition. Weekly sessions explore a variety of topics that facilitate healing, and a psychiatrist provides professional assistance.

“It provides a journey that leads to spiritual liberation, healing and growth,” Sister Diane said, “… [and] has served as a spiritual oasis for women wounded by abortion. This support group allows women to bring their grief and pain into the healing presence of Christ. Companions extend their loving support and compassion to them as they seek healing, forgiveness and peace.”

After completing the Rachel’s Companions process, she said, women may join Rachel’s Network and continue to share spiritual formation and fellowship.

“These women are truly outstanding in their Catholic faith,” Sister Diane said. “They prove that nothing can ever definitively separate a woman from the love of Christ, not even the experience of abortion. They prove that a life of holiness following abortion is possible because the Lord invites them to deep spiritual intimacy, and provides them with abundant graces to achieve their sanctification.

“I encourage every woman suffering from the aftermath of abortion to find the help she needs through a priest, counselor, understanding friend or Project Rachel program,” Sister Diane said. “The important thing is that she take the first step by reaching out for help. All calls are completely confidential.”

St. Thomas More parishioner Bernadette Roy of Mooresville recently shared her abortion experience during a program at St. Monica Parish in Indianapolis. She also helps Sister Diane and other volunteers facilitate Rachel’s Companions and Rachel’s Network.

Until she turned to the Church for help with abortion reconciliation, Roy said she felt that she couldn’t be forgiven of this “most unforgivable sin, and it echoed and echoed inside of my soul.”

Roy said she found solace in the Catechism of the Catholic Church (#1864), which explained that “the most unforgivable sin is the sin against the Holy Spirit by not asking for mercy and forgiveness.”

She said “knowing that I am forgiven, then I had to do the next step, which is to forgive myself.”

Roy can’t remember details about her abortion more than 15 years ago, but suffered from anxiety and nightmares so she turned to Rachel’s Companions for help and healing.

“The sacrament of reconciliation is so important,” she said. “It’s the first step in this whole process. God does forgive you. Rachel’s Companions let me know that I was forgiven. It reinforced the whole experience of forgiveness and healing, and I could name my child. Her name is Katherine. She’s not just a pregnancy anymore. She’s Katie.”

Roy prays before the Blessed Sacrament every week and has a great devotion to the rosary and chaplet of Divine Mercy.

“Teresa” had an abortion at age 17, about 20 years ago, because her mother arranged it as a “solution” to the problem of being an unwed teenage mother. She asked that her name not be published, but was excited about sharing the peace and happiness she has found in her life since participating in Rachel’s Companions.

“I don’t think I ever used the word ‘baby,’ ” Teresa recalled. “I think I was too afraid to use the word ‘baby.’ I think I just said ‘the pregnancy’ or ‘the abortion.’ It makes you step away from God and the Church because you are afraid. I thought that I was going to be punished.”

Years later, she continued to suffer from nightmares and feelings of guilt about her abortion, and always felt afraid about the health and safety of her other children because she thought she didn’t deserve to be a mother.

Even with professional counseling, she said, “I felt like I had this heavy cross that I couldn’t get off my back and I was just waiting for it to fall and to have death happen again in my life.”

After viewing the film The Passion of the Christ last year, Teresa said she felt compelled to participate in Rachel’s Companions, which has set her free from the recurring nightmares that started with an intense feeling of God’s wrath during the abortion. She has named her baby Thomas William.

“We want to help women, to tell them to quit suffering,” she said. “My whole goal [of sharing my story] is to stop at least one woman from having an abortion. I want to tell them that, ‘There are options. Don’t do this to yourself because it causes years of heartache. I wish I had chosen adoption for my baby.’ ”

“Mary” also asked that her name not be published, but wanted to share her story to help other women.

“For many years, I had been suffering with the pain from my abortions,” she said. “I felt worthless, lonely, cut off from people and especially from the Church. I had been searching for some type of program to help get through the pain. … I got set up in the first Rachel’s Companions program in the archdiocese over four years ago. … The companions were such loving, giving and blessed people who made me feel like I wasn’t worthless. They helped me see that God had forgiven me. How could I not forgive myself? … The most moving part of the program was the memorial service for our babies, where we named them and remembered them. I could now name my two sons.”

Now Mary volunteers as a facilitator for women participating in Rachel’s Companions, which “is rewarding work to see them come in so broken down and then, through the help of the program and God’s love, they can be put back together. … The more of us that can gather to talk about the horrors of abortion, the stronger our voice can become.”

(For more information about the confidential Rachel’s Companions group starting on March 19, call Servants of the Gospel of Life Sister Diane Carollo at 317-236-1521 or 800-382-9836, ext. 1521, or Bernadette Roy at 317-989-1507, her cell phone number, or 317-831-2892, her home and business number.)

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