Our Works of Charity / David Bethuram
We must do all we can to break the cycle of domestic violence
The Catholic Church teaches that any act of violence against another person denies their God‑given dignity. Violence treats a person not as someone worthy of love, but as an object to control.
Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behaviors—physical, sexual, emotional, psychological or financial—used by one intimate partner to dominate another. It affects people of every race, age, gender, income level, ability and faith tradition.
Domestic violence is not a distant issue in our communities. In Indiana, 42.5% of women and 27.9% of men experience intimate‑partner physical violence, sexual violence or stalking in their lifetimes.
On a single day in 2024, Indiana programs served 1,848 victims, while 123 requests for help went unmet due to lack of resources. These numbers reflect the painful reality that many individuals who walk through the doors of Catholic Charities have endured abuse.
Catholic Charities remains committed to helping women, men and children escape violent situations by offering food, clothing, counseling and safe shelter—support that allows survivors to begin rebuilding their lives free from fear.
Understanding why victims stay in abusive relationships requires understanding the mindset of an abuser.
Abusers often view their partner as an extension of themselves rather than as a separate, autonomous person. They may use isolation, threats, manipulation or financial control to keep their partner dependent and prevent them from seeking help. Anything that empowers a victim, such as friendships, employment, education or even the possibility of leaving the relationship—can be perceived as a threat.
Jackie’s story reflects this painful dynamic. She and her five children lived in fear as her husband’s alcoholism escalated into unpredictable and violent behavior.
One night, he fired a gun inside their home in front of the children. Police and Child Protective Services warned Jackie that if she did not leave, she risked losing her children. With no family nearby and nowhere to go, she turned to Catholic Charities.
Catholic Charities helped Jackie and her children with safe housing, furnished her new home and provided food and clothing so her family could start over.
Like many abusers, Jackie’s husband alternated between moments of affection and episodes of control, blame and violence—creating confusion and emotional turmoil that made leaving even more difficult. Many victims cling to the hope that sobriety, counseling or time will change the abuser’s behavior. Jackie eventually found the strength and support she needed to escape.
The impact of domestic violence extends far beyond the immediate victim. More than half of men who abuse their partners also harm their children. Growing up in a violent home increases a child’s risk of substance abuse, mental health struggles and becoming either a victim or perpetrator of violence later in life. Without intervention, the cycle can continue for generations.
Catholic Charities and the Church are dedicated to breaking this cycle. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, help is available. Contact your local Catholic Charities agency or reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline for confidential support and referrals: 800‑799‑SAFE (7233) or 800‑787‑3224 (TTY).
(David Bethuram is executive director of the archdiocesan Secretariat for Catholic Charities. You can contact him at dbethuram@archindy.org.) †