Married couples are witnesses ‘within and outside the Church,’ archbishop says

After the archdiocese’s annual Wedding Anniversary Mass at SS. Peter and Paul Cathedral in Indianapolis on Aug. 24, Jesse and Nancy Wadle smile with a copy of a certificate honoring their 60th anniversary. See more wedding anniversaries on pages 9 and 10. (Photo by Natalie Hoefer)

By Natalie Hoefer

It was a bright, sunny day on Aug. 24, a perfect day for celebrating a wedding anniversary—or more than 160 of them.

Such was the number of couples who, with their families, filled SS. Peter and Paul Cathedral in Indianapolis that day for the archdiocese’s annual Wedding Anniversary Mass.

“Look around and you will see more than 5,080 years of marriage, with more than 321 children, 488 grandchildren and 80 great-grandchildren,” Gabriela Ross noted from the ambo at the end of the Mass. She is director of the archdiocesan Office of Marriage and Family Life that sponsored the Mass and the reception that followed across the street at the Archbishop Edward T. O’Meara Catholic Center.

Among those who marveled at the figures were Jesse and Nancy Wadle, married 60 years; Ronald and Marjorie Reitman, married 55 years; and Peter June and Norylyn Rufon, married 18 years. Below, each couple shares their love story and the role of faith in their covenantal marriage.

In his homily during the Mass, Archbishop Charles C. Thompson noted that such marriages bear “the seal of sacramental grace, the grace of fulfillment not only in this life, but leading married couples and families on the path of salvation.”

A ‘gift of witness to others’

The archbishop began his homily recalling lyrics from the 1970 hit song “Rose Garden”: “I beg your pardon. I never promised you a rose garden. Along with the sunshine, there’s got to be a little rain sometime.”

The words apply to marriage—“I don’t have to tell you that, those of you celebrating wedding anniversaries beyond the honeymoon,” he quipped.

But the words also apply to missionary discipleship, the archbishop continued.

“Jesus made clear that the demands of denying oneself, taking up the cross and following were essential to following him,” Archbishop Thompson said. “He never promises the rose garden, but eternity.”

He noted that every vocation, including marriage, involves challenges and hardships.

“Marriage is a noble vocation in the Church,” the archbishop said. “… Married couples provide a tremendous gift of witness to others, young and old. Never take for granted the witness you give, both within and outside the Church.”

Part of that witness comes in the prayers of parents for their children. Archbishop Thompson said he frequently sees such prayers when reading “every one” of the petition cards submitted with United Catholic Appeal donations.

“It’s overwhelming how much people ask to pray for their children,” for their health or their safety, the archbishop said.

“But overwhelmingly, people are asking me to pray for their children to return to the faith, that they find their way closer to God.

“Your children can run from you. … They can run from the Church. But they cannot run from your prayers. … Keep praying.”

Such prayer is just one way to keep Christ at the center of couples living out the vocation of sacramental marriage, the archbishop added.

“Strengthened by a life of prayer, individual and communal; the word of God; sacramental grace, especially drawing from the sacraments of reconciliation and the most holy Eucharist; continual discernment of divine wisdom and service to others, every member of the family can realize the Gospel joy of a personal encounter with Jesus Christ,” Archbishop Thompson concluded. “Not a rose garden, but a cross, a cross that leads to salvation.”

Pray, go to Mass, ‘keep laughing’ and ‘dance’

At the reception following the Wedding Anniversary Mass, Ronald (Ron) and Marjorie (Margi) Reitman were found dancing to a slow song, smiling and gazing in each other’s eyes like two 16-year-olds in love.

That was how old each was when they met 58 years ago. It happened at a joint Catholic Youth Organization meeting of their two rural archdiocesan parishes.

For Ron, it was love at first sight.

“I saw her coming out of the two-room schoolhouse where I went to school,” he recalled. “She had kind of reddish hair then. I looked up and said, ‘That’s the girl I’m going to marry.’ ”

He would later also come to love her “playful and fun” nature.

Slightly embarrassed, Margi admitted the first thing she noticed about Ron was that “he had really nice legs.” But she soon found him to be “very nice, just a real gentleman. We liked each other’s families, and we shared a lot of the same values.”

Three years later, in 1970, the couple announced their wedding date. Both were 19—a precarious age for a young man as the Vietnam War raged overseas.

“I was draft age, so I enlisted to escape the draft,” said Ron.

To make sure they were wed before he was deployed, the couple moved up their wedding date.

“We had the aunts and uncles talking about, ‘What’s going on? Why did they change the date?’ ” Margi said with a laugh.

Ron served in the military for 20 years. His service took the couple—and in time, their four children—far from home.

Margi found the easiest way to create a “second family” was “to go to church and raise your hand and say, ‘I’ll do that,’ and you’re pulled right in.”

Their Catholic faith has always been at the center of the Reitman’s marriage, she noted, saying, “We pray together, we go to church together.”

Ron agreed, calling faith “really central” to their marriage and to sacramental marriage in general.

“Sometimes we don’t appreciate it until we can look back on it,” he said.

He also emphasized the centrality of the Eucharist to marriage and the concept that the couple become one—“and you can’t be part of that unless you give yourself to another,” Ron noted.

The Reitmans, members of Immaculate Conception Parish in Millhousen, are retired now, with 17 grandchildren and one great-grandchild.

“We travel quite a bit now, especially with square dancing,” said Margi. And when they’re on the road, the couple enjoys “looking for a church to go to on Sunday and experiencing unique parishes,” she added.

Her advice to married couples is to “let go of the small stuff, and the big stuff. We all make mistakes. We all do stuff and say stuff that isn’t nice. So let it go—it’s not worth it.

“And keep laughing,” she added.

With a joyful smile and a loving look at his bride, Ron offered one more piece of advice: “Dance.”

‘There was a spark—I could feel it’

Peter June and Norylyn (Nory) Rufon grew up in the Philippines. Their paths never crossed, however, until work took them both to Saudi Arabia, he as a nurse and she as a registered midwife.

Still, it was not work but their devout Catholic faith that brought them together in 2004.

“Saudi Arabia is a highly restrictive country,” said Peter June. “But we were able to praise God and serve God. And so, we met at a church activity—without knowing that we worked at the same hospital.”

He started calling Nory on weekends to see if she would be at church.

“That kind of caught my heart,” she said. “I thought, ‘Oh! This is a God-fearing one!’ ”

Peter June found Nory easy to talk with, having conversations that “just keep on going on and on,” he said. “And then there was a spark—I could feel it.”

The couple married in 2007 in what Peter June called a “grand wedding” in the Philippines.

Back in Saudi Arabia, he applied to work in the United States, and the couple remained active leaders in their faith community as they waited.

It was a much longer wait than the couple ever expected. The 2008 U.S. recession led to several years of hiring freezes in the country, and the couple began to think, “Maybe the U.S. is not for us,” said Peter June.

Finally, a job offer came in 2019. But once again there was a pause, this time for the COVID pandemic. Some 15 years after first filing paperwork, the Rufons and their four children moved just north of Indianapolis in 2022.

One constant has remained throughout the couple’s marriage: their love for and active participation in the faith, particularly with Couples of Christ, a Catholic, Vatican-approved lay ecclesial movement focused on the renewal and strengthening of Christian family life.

On most Sundays, the Rufons worship at a parish in the Lafayette Diocese. But on the fourth Sunday of each month, they worship at a Filipino Mass at SS. Peter and Paul Cathedral, with Peter June as part of the choir.

“Marriages will have ups and downs,” he said. “But we believe if we turn to guidance from the Lord, everything will be smooth.”

He advises married couples that, if they submit to God’s will, “He will give you wisdom, knowledge, understanding. He will give you more patience and perseverance.”

As for him and Nory, said Peter June, “We’ll continue serving God, whatever hurdles there may be. And we know he will give us everything we need.”

Liked the car—loved the driver

Those celebrating 60 or more years of marriage were seated near the front of the cathedral during the Mass.

Among them were Jesse (Jess) and Nancy Wadle, who were married in 1965. They met when Jess, who grew up in Iowa, moved for a new job in Nancy’s hometown of Chicago in 1963.

Nancy recalled her sister telling her, “You need to go out with this guy. He’s got a neat car.”

“I had a brand new Chevrolet convertible with bucket seats,” Jess proudly interjected.

Nancy liked the car—but she was more impressed by the driver behind the wheel.

“I came home and told my mom I was going to marry him,” she said, eyes sparkling as if the memory happened yesterday. “I just felt it was a comfortable fit. And we have been a comfortable fit, through ups and downs.”

After they married, the couple moved several times for Jess’ job. Wherever they landed, Nancy always found work in parish music ministry, including in the parishes just north of Indianapolis in the Lafayette Diocese from 1974-1986.

“She lived in church,” Jess noted with a chuckle.

The couple moved back to central Indiana seven years ago, and Nancy served in music ministry at Immaculate Heart of Mary Parish in Indianapolis. She retired two years ago.

The Wadles, now members of St. Alphonsus Liguori Parish in Zionsville, in the Lafayette Diocese, raised four children and also have four grandchildren.

“I wasn’t supposed to be able to have kids, and we adopted our oldest son,” said Nancy. Soon after, she became pregnant and gave birth to a boy.

The couple later adopted a girl—then Nancy again conceived, giving birth to a daughter this time.

Sadly, their adopted daughter Kori died last September from myotonic dystrophy, a progressive weakening of the muscles.

“We have tremendous faith, and we fall back on prayer a lot,” said Nancy. “We have to.”

Through the ups and downs the couple “just had a lot of fun,” said Jess. “I don’t think we’re going to end it now,” he added with a smile for his bride. †
 

(For more information on the archdiocesan Office of Marriage and Family Life, including resources for marriage enrichment, go to marriageandfamily.archindy.org.) †