Cornucopia / Cynthia Dewes
Teaching others to accept their place in God’s scheme of things
Around May 1 in grade school, we used to make little baskets out of the prettiest construction paper we could find to give to our mothers. We’d go outside at recess and pick little wildflowers in the woods next to our school to put in the baskets as a celebration of May Day—the U.S. version, not the Communist one. I wonder, do kids do that any more?
Admiration and gratitude for our beautiful natural surroundings was important to us. And honoring our mothers was a value we cherished, even when we resented taking out the garbage or going to bed on time, or not demanding attention when Mom was on the phone.
On Memorial Day, a crowd, composed mostly of kids, would march about a quarter mile down the highway from our town to the public cemetery. We’d hold little American flags and sing patriotic songs as we approached the veterans’ graves section. There’d be a short ceremony with some adult delivering a tribute to our servicemen—and they were all men in those days—and then we’d go home feeling patriotic and grateful. Do we do that any more either?
These customs were common all over the country, and they taught children certain values, such as love of country, respect for our flag, and why we are a free people in the United States. I wonder if modern children consider these ideas.
Political correctness has entered the picture, making some other changes in aspects of childhood, too. Obedience has become demeaning to a child’s dignity, and requiring attention to rules a display of parental power. Discipline is kind of a dirty word and seems to evoke unreasonable demands for compliance.
When kids used to misbehave, it was common for them to be given a swat on the behind or even a short spanking if the sin was really serious. Today, a parent would be jailed for doing this. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating for hurting a child, beating them up or terrifying them. I’m talking about getting their attention, bringing them up short so they may adjust their behavior.
Other apparently outmoded behaviors don’t seem to be important in current parenting practice. One is showing respect to adults, no matter who they are, but certainly to parents, teachers and respectable authority figures. Talking back was simply not acceptable, and still isn’t in my book. If a child questions a rule, simply talking it through and listening on both sides can not only settle a dispute, but also bring the opponents closer.
When we follow the paths God has shown us, we can’t fail. They simply work the best, especially in the Christian family. The adults are committed to each other in a loving marriage and to their children by love and biology. Parents nurture, teach and inspire their kids because they have more life experience to share, and are mature enough to lead. Children obey, learn and have fun because they’re free of adult responsibility. Everyone knows his or her “place” in the arrangement, and everyone thrives on the pleasures and even the occasional pains of filling his or her role. And everyone learns and grows in grace (music up!).
Today, the family is threatened by legal abortion, thoughtless marriage and easy divorce, and materialism. It’s hard, but we must all do our part as citizens, parents, grandparents and concerned onlookers to keep following some of the earlier paths we took.
(Cynthia Dewes, a member of St. Paul the Apostle Parish in Greencastle, is a regular columnist for The Criterion.) †