Author and grief counselor
to present programs in April
By Mary Ann Wyand
What is the difference between grieving and mourning?
Grieving is a private, interior experience that follows the death of a loved one, Dr. Alan Wolfelt explained, and mourning is an external experience of sharing the loss with others.
Both grieving and mourning are necessary for bereaved people to begin the difficult process of healing and start living life in new ways, the nationally known author, educator and grief counselor from Fort Collins, Colo., explained in a brief telephone interview on March 17.
Wolfelt will discuss “The Wilderness of Grief: Finding Your Way” during a three-hour community seminar from 6 p.m. until 9 p.m. on April 8 and “Living in the ‘Shadow of the Ghosts’ of Grief,” a one-day seminar for anyone who provides care for bereaved people, from 9 a.m. until 3:30 p.m. on April 9 during a two-day visit to Indianapolis.
Both programs will be held at the Community Life Center at Washington Park Cemetery, 10612 E. Washington St., in Indianapolis. Registrations are required by March 28.
His community program is sponsored by Flanner and Buchanan Inc. The registration fee is $30 and includes handout materials.
Wolfelt’s program for caregivers is jointly sponsored by Flanner and Buchanan Inc., the archdiocesan Catholic Cemeteries Association and the archdiocesan Office of Family Ministries as their sixth annual mission day. The registration fee of $30 includes lunch and handout materials.
During the community program for persons experiencing grief in their lives, Wolfelt will explain how the capacity to love requires the need to mourn with others after the death of a loved one.
He will discuss how to open to the presence of your loss, dispel misconceptions about grief, embrace the uniqueness of your grief, explore your feelings of loss, recognize that you are not crazy, understand the six needs of mourning, nurture yourself, reach out for help, seek reconciliation rather than resolution, appreciate your transformation and “The Mourner’s Bill of Rights.”
The mission day for caregivers is designed for clergy, pastoral ministers, bereavement ministers, chaplains, lay ministers, physicians, nurses, social workers, counselors, educators, psychologists, hospice personnel, funeral directors, cemetery workers and others who provide care for bereaved people.
Wolfelt will address the “shadow of the ghosts” of grief and how to understand the evolution of this phenomenon as well as explain the potential “fall out” consequences of carried grief. He will also talk about how to acknowledge the five phases of the wounding process, define grief avoidance response styles and explore the value of “catch-up” mourning.
He said people living in the “shadow of the ghosts” of grief have symptoms which suggest that the pain of their grief has been inhibited, suppressed or denied and that adversely affects their daily life experiences.
Marilyn Hess, associate director of healing family ministries for the archdiocesan Office of Family Ministries, heard Wolfelt speak during a national bereavement conference and is pleased that he will present two programs in Indianapolis.
“Every person grieves differently,” Hess explained. “Grief affects your life on every level—physically, emotionally and spiritually—and sometimes it can cause grievers to ask new questions about God and their faith.”
(For more information or to register for either of Dr. Alan Wolfelt’s bereavement programs, call Flanner and Buchanan Inc. at 317-387-7000 before March 28.) †