A different kind of Christmas story: Annual Cadeaux Ball assists people in need, builds lifelong friendships

Starting from humble means that raised $60 and 40 gifts 10 years ago, six friends have continued to plan the Cadeaux Ball, a Christmas fundraiser that collected more than 400 gifts and $30,000 for Catholic Charities Indianapolis last year. Pictured, from left, at the first annual ball in 1997 are Jim Hardee, John Bradshaw, Lizabeth Bradshaw, Father Patrick Beidelman, Kristina Miller and Sarah Otte. (Submitted photo)

By John Shaughnessy

If you want to know the true story behind one of the most fun and most generous Christmas parties in the archdiocese, you would have to start with a clothing item that has scarred, frightened and tormented countless women through the years:

The bridesmaid dress.

Indeed, the desire of three friends to actually wear a bridesmaid dress for a second time has led to an annual Christmas ball that has supplied

thousands of gifts for the Christmas Store, the archdiocesan setting where people in need come to choose gifts for members of their family.

The Cadeaux Ball has also raised tens of thousands of dollars to assist Catholic Charities Indianapolis in its year-round efforts to help people in need to have better lives.

“It was all about the dresses,” Lizabeth Bradshaw says with a laugh about her initial idea to have a Christmas ball.

Now the Indianapolis ball is all about the joy of helping others, having a great time and beginning the Advent season with the right perspective.

“We always have it at the beginning of Advent—before the craziness starts, before the materialism starts—to think about the reason for the season,” Bradshaw says. “You can have the fun and you can have the spirituality, too. They’re not mutually exclusive. On the night of the ball, you think you did a little something to make Christmas better for the city.”

Yet that’s only part of the story of the Cadeaux Ball—a different kind of Christmas story that began 10 years ago when four friends were returning from a special moment in the life of another friend who would become a priest.

The start of something special

It was the fall of 1997 when four young adults drove back from Saint Meinrad Seminary after helping their friend—the future Father Patrick Beidelman—celebrate his ordination as a transitional deacon.

During the three-hour drive to Indianapolis, Kristina Miller, Sarah Otte, Lizabeth Bradshaw and her husband of then-four-months, John Bradshaw, started talking about wanting to have another event to

celebrate.

That’s when Lizabeth mentioned an annual Christmas gala in her hometown of Buffalo, N.Y. She told Miller and Otte how the women wore gowns and the men donned tuxedos for the elegant affair. The three female friends talked and laughed about

having their own ball where they would dress in bridesmaid dresses from weddings they had attended. Lizabeth even offered her and John’s house as the setting.

As the plans for the low-key ball started, the friends decided that everyone who came should bring a small Christmas gift that could be donated to a charity.

When they asked then Deacon Beidelman to suggest a worthy charity, he recommended the Christmas Store. Otte suggested naming the event the Cadeaux Ball because “cadeaux” means “gifts” in French.

Invitations were extended to their circle of family and friends, which included other young couples, people starting their first jobs and friends who were attending graduate school or law school like John Bradshaw. Many of the young women wore bridesmaid dresses while the young men dressed in suits or second-hand tuxedos. Money was tight for most of the 40 people who came, but everyone brought a gift.

“That first year, we collected 40 gifts and about $60,” Lizabeth says with a smile.

The party was such a good time that they also collected a commitment to make it an annual Christmas tradition.

‘Everybody is giving something’

Fast-forward to the 10th annual Caudeaux Ball in 2006.

More than 400 people attended, including some who brought new bicycles as gifts for the Christmas Store. About $30,000 was raised for Catholic Charities Indianapolis, thanks in part to corporate sponsors that included St. Francis Hospital and Health Centers and St. Vincent Health. The event was held in the beautiful ballroom of Marian Inc., an Indianapolis

company. The dress was elegant, stylish.

Still, the grassroots quality of the Christmas ball continues. Miller, Otte, the Bradshaws, Father Beidelman, Jim Hardee and their ever-growing list of friends still form the group that plans the event. To get into the ball, a person needs to bring a gift and buy two raffle tickets for a total of $25. (More raffle tickets can be bought for $10 each.) The combination of the gift and the raffle tickets gets a person a dinner, drinks, a night of dancing and a warm feeling inside.

“We want it to be as much about giving as possible,” says John Bradshaw. “We give the party. People come in and give gifts. Everybody is giving something.”

That approach awes Suzanne Murphy, director of development for Catholic Charities Indianapolis and St. Elizabeth/ Coleman Pregnancy and Adoption Services.

“The thing that impresses me the most in working with this group is that they’re very young, they’re so committed and they’re very hands-on,” Murphy says. “They’re just a delight to be around.”

No one knows that better than Father Beidelman.

“All of my fond memories surrounding Cadeaux involve renewing old friendships and making new ones,” Father Beidelman notes. “I am very proud of my friends for the vast amounts of time and energy they offer to make the Cadeaux Ball so

successful. It is hard work, but it is work that produces much good, especially for those in need. That’s what the Gospel calls us to be about as followers of Jesus.”

Gifts from the heart

When this year’s Cadeaux Ball is held on Dec. 8, everyone associated with the event knows it will produce another round of fun stories. It always does, including the story of a man and a woman who met at the ball, fell in love and return to the ball every year as a tradition in their relationship.

There are also other kinds of love stories.

Julia Affolder told how she became involved in the ball five years ago when she moved to Indianapolis after getting married. Affolder is a college friend of Kristina Miller. Miller told her about the ball, and Affolder has helped with the

decorations ever since. She also began to volunteer at the Christmas Store.

“I didn’t even know of the store prior to working on the Cadeaux Ball,” Affolder says. “I started volunteering at the Christmas Store because I wanted to know where the donations were going. Once I got there, I was hooked. It’s the good I see that comes out of the store. I see the joy of them shopping for their children or their grandchildren. It makes me happy.

It also makes me imagine what they’re feeling on Christmas when they give their kids or grandkids their presents.”

After 10 years, the original organizers are amazed at how the event has grown

and how it has touched so many lives, including their own.

“That first year, we were amazed we were able to raise a wagonload of toys,” Kristina Miller says. “Now, it’s taken on a life of its own. But that’s the hallmark of something that’s worthwhile. It’s grown and it’s taken us with it. It’s opened our eyes to the work Catholic Charities does, and we’ve become much more involved in that work.”

An event that began with bridesmaid dresses has created a beautiful tradition.

“We think of the event as a time we can spend with our friends and family, and yet at the same time we make an impact with the toys, the donations and the different activities,” Miller says. “It reminds you of the people in your life as well as the small things you can do in your life to make a big impact.”

(Anyone who wants to donate gifts to the Christmas Store can do so until Dec. 18 at the Xavier Building, 1435 N. Illinois St., in Indianapolis. Gifts can be dropped off at the Christmas Store from 8:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. Monday through Saturday. The most needed items are toys, winter clothes and household items. All gifts should be new.) †