The story of the life-changing bond with the friend who has become Pope Leo XIV
By John Shaughnessy
A day before the conclave to elect a new pope began on May 7, Bill Bickel sent an e-mail to his friend of 46 years, Cardinal Robert F. Prevost.
In the e-mail, the associate director of Catholic Charities in the Archdiocese of Indianapolis wrote, “Please know that Flor and I are holding you in our prayers during this historic moment in our Church. We trust the Holy Spirit will be with you, guiding you with wisdom and filling you with peace.”
A short while later, Cardinal Prevost responded, “Thanks, Bill. We all pray that the Spirit will be our guide!—Bob”.
Two days after that e-mail exchange, Bickel became overwhelmed with emotion when he watched on television as his friend was introduced as Pope Leo XIV, the new leader of the universal Church. (See more news about our new pope)
He listened in amazement as the person he credits with giving him powerful, compassionate advice that changed his life appeared on the balcony of St. Peter’s Basilica, greeting the roaring crowd in the square below and people around the world with this initial message, “Peace be with you all,” and later with this hope, “May we all walk together toward that homeland that God has prepared for us.”
“It was just unbelievable, unbelievable,” said Bickel, a day after his friend was elected pope. “My phone started blowing up, but I just wanted to take in the moment to see Bob. And then as he was addressing the people in the square and around the world, I started to get a little nervous for him, thinking this weight is just unreal.
“But then I swung to, ‘God’s providence is in this.’ The e-mail he sent me on Tuesday where he said the Spirit
is in this is absolutely right. Since then, I’m praying for him. And I will say this: There is no one better to lead the global Catholic Church than him. I’m still in awe.”
‘He’s a grace from God’
The story of all our lives is the story of our relationships—our family that forms and nurtures us, our friends who embrace us and lift us, our loves who light our lives and lead us to hopes and dreams we never imagined, our relationship with God.
The friendship of Bickel and the man who will forever be known now as Pope Leo XIV started with a shared dream to serve God and his people. As a young man, Robert Prevost not only embraced that dream, he served as a role model for Bickel and many other younger men who aspired to live that same dream.
Seven years older, Prevost was already deep in his formation as an Augustinian priest in 1979—the year Bickel was a high school senior who was exploring his own desire to be an Augustinian. He and two other young men joined with Prevost on a road trip from Chicago to Villanova University near Philadelphia to learn more about the Augustinian path to the priesthood.
On that trip, as one of the other young men became sick and vomited in the van, Bickel took note of how Prevost didn’t hesitate to clean up the van. During the road trip, Bickel and Prevost, two sons of the Midwest from strong Catholic families—Bickel from South Bend and Prevost from Chicago—talked about the order’s foreign missionary program, as Bickel had an interest in serving in Peru after earlier spending three weeks at the missions in that South American country.
The trip to Villanova convinced Bickel of his desire to be an Augustinian priest. It also gave him his first extensive look into the heart and soul of the future pope, a glimpse that has turned into a revelation about his friend through the years—and the way he believes Pope Leo XIV will approach his papacy.
“I think of Augustine when I think of him,” Bickel said. “He has the intellect of Augustine. He has the brother community of Augustine. And he has Augustine’s profound belief that caring for the poor is not merely an act of charity but a fundamental expression of love and humility.
“I think about the global Catholic Church and, as large as that is, I know he looks at it as he looks at his community. Living under the Augustinian rule as a community—‘one mind, one heart’—he sees the global community in that way. It’s innately in him.
“I’m sure the Augustinian charism is going to be a guiding light for a lot of things, perhaps difficult things that he’s going to face. Community, of course, is a big thing. So is the idea that we need to bear and support our brothers’ and sisters’ burdens. He has an immense love for the poor. I think those are going to be strong factors in his papacy.”
Bickel paused before he added, “If somebody can thread the needle of whatever divisions the Catholic Church has, I think it’s him. I really do. It’s a grace from God. He’s a grace from God.”
‘He always had time for you’
While the story of all our lives is the story of our relationships, it’s also about the choices we make concerning our relationships.
In their journeys toward the priesthood, the paths of the two friends are extremely similar, with Bickel following his Augustinian brother on many of the same stops along the road: attending minor seminary in Michigan, graduating from Villanova, studying at Catholic Theological Union in Chicago, entering the novitiate in St. Louis, professing first vows.
And all through that journey, Bickel looked up to his friend, admiring his faith and his personal qualities.
“Just a humble, generous, intelligent brother Augustinian,” Bickel said, noting that Pope Leo XIV was a math major at Villanova and earned a doctoral degree in canon law. “Intelligent but incredibly approachable. He always had time for you.”
Bickel smiled as he added, “Bob has a great sense of humor. I can hear his laugh right now. His laugh is super distinctive.”
So is Bickel’s, but there’s no laughter—just deep emotion again—as he talks about another similarity in their journeys: the time they both served the poor and vulnerable in Peru, wanting to give people there an embrace of hope and dignity, wanting to share the promise of God’s love.
It was also a time that led Bickel to turn to his friend—the man he admired so deeply—for advice about the toughest, most heart-wrenching choice he has ever had to make.
During those roughly 18 months of serving together in Peru in the late 1980s, Bickel worked in the villages of the northern west coast and the Andes mountains of Peru while the future pope served the poor in similar areas farther south. Among the few American Augustinians from the Chicago Province serving in the Peruvian missions at the time, they connected and shared stories, challenges and hopes at meetings of members of their order.
In a private meeting between just the two of them, Bickel shared his heart with his friend about the soul-searching choice he had to make.
As he shared the story of that meeting more than 35 years later, Bickel’s anguish was still raw and emotional.
The heart-wrenching choice of two loves
“I met Flor, who was a Peruvian working in similar mission-based work,” Bickel recalled. “As time went on, I knew I needed to speak openly about it. I went to Bob, and I said, ‘I’m thinking a lot more about Flor than I’m thinking about renewing my vows.’
“He gave me the advice that set the trajectory of my life. I mean it.
“He told me, ‘You have to determine whether this is genuine joy and love or it’s infatuation. We—he didn’t say me, he said we—are away from our homes, away from our families, we’re in a foreign country. There is absolute loneliness in this work. You need to distinguish between the two, and you need to take the time to do that.’ ”
The emotion swelled up for Bickel again as he said, “I did. And I chose Flor.
“I told Bob, ‘I’m leaving something I love very much for someone I love more.’
“He literally counseled me as a brother.”
Bickel then shared one more part to that turning point, a part that is important for him.
“When I did decide, I told my Irish-Catholic mother. She would never let pride get in her heart, but I’m sure it meant something to her that I was studying for the priesthood. When I told her that I met this woman and I’m not going to renew my vows, my mother said nothing but words of encouragement. She said, ‘When I met your father and we were dating, I felt genuine joy and love.’ ”
When she said, “genuine joy and love,” Bickel remembered those were the exact words his friend had shared in his advice to him.
“This is without me telling her what Bob had told me. I thought, ‘This has to be providential because my own mother is saying this to me.’ ”
While their paths have diverged since then, the commitment of the two friends to the vulnerable has continued.
A love for a friend
Before being elected, Pope Leo XIV kept the poor of Peru a priority during much of his service to the Augustinians and the Church.
Married to Flor for more than three decades, Bickel has served the archdiocese for the past 30 years as a leading advocate for the homeless in central and southern Indiana. He has led the growth of the archdiocese’s commitment to homeless families, not only by giving them a place to live in times of desperation, but also guiding staff members in helping the parents of these families find jobs and housing.
Flor has also long served the legal needs of immigrants and refugees who come to Catholic Charities for help, assisting them in starting a new life in the United States. And their marriage has led to the lives and love of their daughter, Susana, their son, Gabriel, and their grandchild, Omar.
The friendship of Bickel and Pope Leo XIV has also continued through the years, so much so that Bickel still finds himself in the adjustment period of calling his friend “Pope Leo” instead of “Bob.”
As the Church and the world look forward to what the papacy of Pope Leo XIV will offer, Bickel looks back to all the ways his friend has touched his life for 46 years. Bickel’s love for the Augustinians and the Augustinian rules of life still continues. So does his love for his friend who counseled him so compassionately at a turning point in his life.
As Pope Leo begins a turning point in his own life, Bickel offers his friend a prayer of thanks, hope and love.
“I know his belief that this is a Church for the poor. I know that his guidance comes from the Holy Spirit. That was evident in the conclave. That was evident in the e-mail he sent me—‘the Spirit will be our guide!’
“There’s a strong belief that the Holy Spirit is not just in the middle of this. The Spirit is in all ends of his decision-making and his papacy. I just pray that continues, and he has the support he needs.
“This has given me tremendous optimism about the direction of the Church.”
Bickel shared that belief—and the promise that he and Flor will continue praying for him—with his friend in an e-mail on the day of the new pope’s election. He began the message with this wish, “God bless you, Pope Leo XIV!”
Two days later, the new pope sent Bickel an e-mail, thanking him. The pope ended his reply with a simple “Leo”.
Lives change, sometimes suddenly and dramatically. Still, a friendship lasts. †