Tales of motherhood: a fun family tradition, a mail-order bride and a mother’s first child

Joe Rust shares a photo with his mother, Sylvia Rust, and his wife, Sharyl Rust, during a trip to Poland in 2022. (Submitted photo)

(Editor’s note: The Criterion invited you, our readers, to share your stories and tributes about motherhood from two perspectives—the gift of having your mom and the gift of being a mom. We’ve received so many wonderful responses that we will share them throughout May, the month of Mother’s Day and a month dedicated to the Blessed Mother. Here is the second story. See part one | See part three)
 

By John Shaughnessy

Making and sharing family traditions are among the great gifts that mothers give to their children.

And even if a mom sometimes goes to extremes in establishing those traditions, her children often remember her efforts with smiles and laughs.

At least that’s the approach that Joe Rust lovingly has toward his mother, Sylvia Rust, who at 27 left her home in Poland for a job in Seymour, Ind.—a move that eventually led to her marriage and her six children.

“My mom had to navigate practicing her English as well as maintaining her faith and cultural customs in a small, tight-knit, predominantly German Lutheran community,” recalls Rust, a member of St. John the Evangelist Parish in Indianapolis.

“To help us kids learn, our home was often filled with her most-used catchphrase, ‘This is a Polish tradition!’

“We definitely enjoyed hearing this when it came to meals. Even my dad got to try new recipes that soon became staples in our house—like pierogi, paczki for Fat Tuesday, and hemp soup on Christmas Eve. But we eventually realized some of her other ‘Polish traditions’ might have been slightly exaggerated.”

Rust then listed some of the traditions that are embraced by his mom, a member of St. Ambrose Parish in Seymour.

“Kissing a lady on the hand? Polish!

“A shot of vodka after a meal ‘for digestion’? Polish!

“Having a holy water font by the door? Polish!

“Blessing the home on Epiphany with the mark of the Three Kings? Polish!”

Yet as the six Rust children became older, they had a revelation.

“Imagine our surprise as we met more Catholic families and realized that some of these customs weren’t just Polish—they were part of the broader Catholic tradition, too,” Rust says. “Over the years, I’ve been able to slowly learn for myself which traditions come from our universal Church and which are unique to my mom’s 27 years of life in Poland.”

He has never doubted one reality about his mom.

“She has instilled in us a deep appreciation for our Church, which brings us closer to Christ through many traditions—whether they be Polish, Catholic or simply Rust family traditions.”

He also has one more tradition he hopes people will embrace.

“This Mother’s Day, may we all thank our moms for their great contributions to our faith lives and family traditions.

“After all, I was told that by doing so, we are honoring an old Polish tradition.”

A mail-order bride, ‘a giant in faith’

For generations, the stories about mothers have included how much they are able to do when they have so little.

They also have a legacy of inspiring their children to reach for a better life even as their own life has been humble.

“My mother was short in stature— standing at 5 foot, 4 inches—but a giant in faith,” says Jim Welter of St. Barnabas Parish in Indianapolis. “The daughter of a drunken cotton picker in Alabama, she dropped out of school in the third grade to work the fields to help support her mother and siblings.

“Desperate for a better life, she responded to a newspaper ad and became a mail-order bride. She met my father at the 1933 World’s Fair in Chicago. They moved to a farm in Knox, Ind., and had seven children. When I was 5 years old, Dad was committed to a mental institution. Mom was left alone to raise seven of us in a broken-down, old farmhouse without indoor plumbing, running water, electricity or telephone. 

“We lived on a monthly welfare check equivalent to about one week’s salary for working people. We often did not know where the next meal was coming from. One such time, when I was 10 years old, I was hungry, scared and crying. Mom put her arm around me and said: ‘Don’t cry, son, Jesus fed 5,000—and there are only eight of us!”

That faith in God guided her life before she died in 1995 at the age of 88.

Her faith in her children inspired them, Welter says.

“Of the seven children raised by that mail-order bride with a third-grade education, five went to college, three became millionaires, all were productive members of society.”

Mother and child: growing up together

One of the realities of life is that a first-time mom and her first child often grow up together.

And both of them are changed forever by that bond.

Benedictine Sister Mary Luke Jones of Our Lady of Grace Monastery in Beech Grove shared that special connection with her mom, Marie LaVerne Gionet Jones.

“I was my mom’s first child and was born on Mother’s Day,” says Sister Mary Luke. “She was new to motherhood, and I was new to life. We grew into our lives, and from that day on always celebrated the two events together.

“My mom was a nurse and loved her nursing career until the day she died—July 9, 2014. She had a positive attitude, always seeing the bright side, putting people at ease in their direst moments and truly caring for her patients and their families. She honored her profession and spoke of it lovingly.”

Those qualities that defined her mom’s approach to life are also evident in Sister Mary Luke’s, including a deep faith and trust in God.

“Mom raised me in the Catholic faith and was not surprised when I told her I wanted to enter the monastic community at Our Lady of Grace,” Sister Mary Luke says. “The sisters had taught me in grade school, and I wanted to be one of them. Over the years, mom and dad were frequent visitors at the monastery and considered the sisters part of our family.

“My mom was not a preacher. She never actually told me what to do. She did the right, kind and generous thing, and let me watch her do it. One time she said to me, ‘When people ask me for something, I always try to say yes.’ That is what we call a rule of life, and I try to emulate it, learning from the best teacher.”

The bond is still strong for Sister Mary Luke even as 11 years have passed since her mom’s death.

“The day after my mom died, I realized it was the first morning in 66 years that I awoke without my mother. And I cried,” she says. “I still miss her and quote her often. Growing up with my mom was my greatest blessing. And I thank God.” †