Our Works of Charity / David Bethuram

Counseling can be an essential component for those dealing with grief

Dawn’s life changed forever after a tragic drowning accident—an experience no mother should ever have to face.

“Zoey was a chubby little girl with bright blonde hair and bright blue eyes, just like her daddy,” Dawn shares.

The death of a child is among the most profound and life‑altering losses a person can experience. Trauma and grief counseling provide parents with professional support to help them navigate the intense emotional pain, shock and ongoing changes that follow the death of a child.

Counseling does not ask parents to forget their child or to “move on.” Instead, it offers compassionate guidance for learning how to live with the loss while protecting emotional, physical and relational well‑being.

Research consistently shows that most bereaved individuals—including parents—do not access formal grief counseling, even when they are struggling significantly. Studies indicate that the majority of people who could benefit from professional support never receive it, often due to barriers such as limited access, stigma, cost or the belief that they should grieve on their own.

A 2023 U.S. Department of Health and Human Services report found that grief and bereavement services remain underutilized nationwide, even among individuals experiencing prolonged or traumatic grief symptoms. While grief is a natural response to loss, approximately 7–10% of bereaved adults develop prolonged or complicated grief, which can significantly impair daily functioning and mental health if left untreated.

For parents who have lost a child—a group at elevated risk for traumatic grief—these gaps in care are especially concerning.

As Dawn recalls her 14‑month‑old daughter Zoey’s vibrant personality and the joy she brought to their family, she also reflects on the harrowing accident and its aftermath. The support of her husband and the guidance of her pastor helped her through the earliest stages of grief. Yet her journey toward healing called for a different kind of support—one she found through Catholic Charities.

Dawn connected with a therapist at Catholic Charities, and their first phone call marked the beginning of a therapeutic journey focused on healing and growth.

“When I stepped into the offices of Catholic Charities, I felt very warm. I felt very welcome. I felt very secure in being able to share my trauma and how I had been grieving,” Dawn reflects.

One aspect of counseling that stood out to Dawn was the emphasis on setting goals. “Setting goals was incredibly helpful. In a season of grief, it’s very easy to become stagnant and just sit in it,” she explains. “My counselor always encouraged me to set goals. We talked through what I specifically needed to work on and what I could take home and work on as a family while we were healing.”

Reflecting on her experience, Dawn emphasizes the importance of seeking professional support during times of trauma and loss.

“Everybody is going to have a cross to carry at some point in their life,” she shares. “Catholic Charities provides opportunities for people to grow, heal, process, learn and set goals so they can get through the trauma, the struggles, and the cross they are carrying.”
 

(David Bethuram is executive director of the archdiocesan Secretariat for Catholic Charities. You can contact him at dbethuram@archindy.org.) †