Memories of a marriage in the season of Lent

Tim “Mike” Murphy and his wife Elinor share a smile during their 26 years of marriage. (Submitted photo)

(Editor’s note: We asked readers to share stories, ideas and acts of joy that brought them closer to Christ and others during a previous Lent. Here is one such story.)

By John Shaughnessy

There are moments of joy that stand out in the life of a couple.

And one of the best in the 26-year marriage of Elinor and Tim “Mike” Murphy occurred during the season of Lent for several years—back in the days when they lived in Illinois.

“The church we attended in Illinois had a play that ran for two weeks. It was about the death of Christ and his rising from the dead. It was titled, The Messiah,” recalls Mike Murphy, now a member of Nativity of Our Lord Jesus Christ Parish in Indianapolis.

“It was very popular, and Elinor financed the entire thing, from start to finish. That play was some time ago, probably 15 years ago. Every Lenten season since then, my thoughts go back to those times when so many people came together to make that play possible and showed the faith of so many people.”

That experience was one more way that Elinor’s faith had an impact on her husband.

“She has always been a faithful woman who accepted Jesus as her Savior and raised very successful children that way. She helped bring Jesus back into my life as well. Although I never lost my faith, she just helped Jesus help me to stay close to him.”

There are moments of love that stand out in a marriage, even in the times when life takes couples to places they never imagined on their wedding day.

“My wife was first treated and analyzed for Alzheimer’s 11 years ago,” Murphy notes. “Being her caregiver for this length of time, I found her faith undisturbed.

“After suffering from this dreaded disease for 10 years, she was admitted into a memory care unit of a local nursing home. She was in the company of others who also suffered from dementia, brought on by Alzheimer’s. Her condition worsened over time, but she was always smiling, a sign of her good will.”

There are moments of both heartbreak and hope in a marriage—and sometimes the two blend in a way that will touch your heart forever.

“On the last day of her life—near the beginning of Lent this year—I received a call from the home that they were unable to wake her up,” Murphy says. “I spent the afternoon and evening with her, holding her hand and praying. She lay there, breathing deeply.

“As I sat there, someone walked into the room. I believe it was the caseworker. She said to me, ‘Go ahead and talk to her. She can still hear you.’

“So, I did. I reminded her of my love for her and of God’s love as well. I also included a few ‘sweet nothings’ and kissed her cheek. I held her hand again, and I felt her squeeze my hand. I knew then that God was with her, all the way.”

In the midst of another Lent, Murphy thinks of the love and the faith they shared.

“I miss her dearly. She was such a wonderful and beautiful woman, and I thank God for bringing her into my life. God is so great.” †