The life of a mom: amazing generosity, shared faith and even guilty pleasures
Smiles and shared experiences often mark the relationship of Mimi McKee and her mother, Pat Robak. (Submitted photo)
(Editor’s note: The Criterion invited you, our readers, to share your stories and tributes about motherhood from two perspectives—the gift of having your mom and the gift of being a mom. We have received so many wonderful responses that we are sharing another collection of stories this week—with more planned for future issues. See part three)
By John Shaughnessy
It took a life-changing moment for Mimi McKee to learn one of the most enduring truths about being a mom.
“Like most, I didn’t quite realize the sacrifices and energies most mothers put into their lives until I became a mother myself,” says McKee, a member of St. Michael Parish in Greenfield.
Still, there was a moment in high school when she understood just how special her mom and her dad were.
At the time in 1977, McKee and a friend were working together near the milkshake machine in a McDonald’s when her friend shared her heartbreaking situation.
“She lived in an abusive home and was going to have to move away and would not have finished high school,” McKee recalls.
After her shift ended, McKee went home and shared her friend’s story with her parents, Pat and Ray Robak. Years later, she’s still amazed at how her parents responded.
“My dad was a lawyer, and he insisted we do a guardianship for her with another family. They had her the first half of our senior year, and my parents had her for the second half and several summers afterward.
“I look back at this and am astonished that when I told my parents she needed help, they made it happen. They did not even know her really, and it was a true ‘Pope Francis message’ of being a place of mercy and hope where she was welcomed and loved. A true example of loving your neighbor as yourself. They helped her gain entrance to college, and they played a big part in her life while giving her a soft place to land.”
That extra effort reflects the approach that her mother has brought to all parts of her life, McKee says. A longtime volunteer at St. Michael School and Parish, and in the community, her mom was twice named Hancock County’s Senior Volunteer of the Year.
“Mom is generous and thoughtful,” McKee says. “At 89, the one thing that has remained constant is her faith. I believe that is the most important example I was given.”
Keeping the memories alive
Among the great joys in the relationship between a mother and a child are the memories they have made together, the stories they continue to replay through the years with smiles, laughs and even tears.
One of the great heartbreaks of life is losing that connection.
“First, I would like to say that I miss my mom, our conversations, her laugh and how she loved all the little ones,” says Mary Igel of St. Jude Parish in Indianapolis. “Now, my mom has not passed yet, but she has had Alzheimer’s for many years and has not been able to communicate with all of her six children, her 21 grandchildren and 24 great-grandchildren.”
At the same time, Igel feels a need to share some of the details of her mother’s life—to keep her memory alive.
“She and my dad were married 69 years before he passed last December at the age of 91,” she says. “They led by the great example of their loving marriage and what our Catholic faith has taught us. She lived her Catholic faith.
“I was so close to my mom, and while raising my four daughters I would always call Mom first before calling a doctor when something was wrong with one of them.
“No one was a stranger to my mom; she was friendly to all and loved making people laugh. She came from a big family of six children herself and would always host the family Christmas in our family home. She loved being surrounded by her family.”
The tone of Igel’s memories turns wistful when she adds, “She was very close to her mother and lost her when my mom was 60. She lost her best friend, and I feel like it really affected her, and she started to be depressed. We all think that is when she started to not remember things.”
The last memory Igel shares of her mother is one of joy and laughter.
“My mom was a great cook, and everything she made was homemade,” she recalls. “I went home one weekend to visit, and she made me and Dad’s favorite banana cream pie. The pie did not taste right, and she thought she left out an ingredient. Me and her laughed and ate it anyway.”
Joy, faith and guilty pleasures
The fun memories blend with the faith-filled ones, bringing joy to Joan Gutzwiller as she remembers her mother.
And her joy turns to laughter when she recalls a hilarious moment of her own as a mom, a moment involving her children and an insurance adjuster.
Let’s start with the influence of her mother’s faith.
“One of my most cherished blessings was having my mom, Mildred Ann [Pope] Fitzgerald, as my mother,” says Gutzwiller, one of eight children. “Mom shared her faith by modeling the Blessed Virgin Mary in her everyday life. Her vocation in life was to be a mom, and she knew she couldn’t do it without her faith. Her favorite prayer was the ‘Memorare,’ which she taught each of us at a young age. To this day, that is my go-to memorized prayer.
“I have tried to repeat this faith pattern with my own children and grandchildren, so they will believe that we can’t do it alone.”
While her mom loved her faith, she also had her guilty pleasures, including playing the slot machines at a casino.
“When Dad was still alive, Mom would always say on the way home, ‘Now don’t tell your father that I won because he will make me give 10% back to the Church!’ ”
Her mother also had a flair for cranking up the radio as she drove the family’s white Oldsmobile station wagon with the red roof.
“She would keep the beat of the music with the accelerator,” says Gutzwiller. “I tried that one time with one of the kids in the car. I was going up our driveway, the radio was playing loud, and I was keeping the beat with the accelerator, but I ran out of space. My car crashed right through the overhead garage door.
“I don’t know what happened, but when the insurance man came out and interviewed me, I told my kids not to say anything. The insurance guy asked me a lot of questions, such as, ‘Were you drinking or taking any medications?’ I answered no, but one of my kids chimed in with, ‘Mom, you drink, and you take medicine!’ Oh, my.”
While Gutzwiller’s mom died in 2013 at the age of 92, the memories keep her close in her heart. So does a reality she shared with her mom, a reality that all moms share.
“You never stop being a mom even when your children are grown and have families of their own. It’s our special gift from God that no one can take away.” †
