August 22, 2008

My Journey to God

Just Be

Who am I? What is my purpose? These questions I often ponder.
What are my gifts? How do I use them? What is God’s plan for me, I wonder?
I want to come to my Lord, but often feel unworthy.
How can I be good enough always seems to be my worry.
I work to do God’s ministries and volunteer as I can,
Not sure what God wants of me, but trying to make a plan,
Diligently trying to be deserving of my Lord.
I heard a voice within me say, “Stop, you are trying too hard.”
It seemed I kept getting the same message telling me,
“Slow down. Just listen. Stop doing. Just be.
“Don’t try so hard to be accepted. You were accepted long ago.
“As a father to his child, it is you I want to know.”
Confused, I poured through God’s word looking for a solution,
But no matter how hard I tried, I could not resolve my confusion.
What are you telling me, Lord? What is it you want me to know?
Don’t you want me to be your servant? Aren’t there seeds I am to sow?
As I continued my search, I found a book of the story of Martha and Mary.
Martha was working to serve the Lord while Mary sat and listened unwary.
Martha voiced her frustration to Jesus, asking for Mary’s help,
But Jesus gently answered Martha’s worries and asked that she sit herself.
I suppose I am being a Martha, too busy to faithfully know him.
I am spinning my wheels, worrying and not truly letting God in.
I have to trust that God made me and loves me as I am.
He only wants me close to him to walk with him hand in hand.
Jesus tells us, “But seek first the Kingdom (of God) and his righteousness,
and all will be given you besides.”
I simply sincerely need to let God into my heart—it is there he wants to reside.
I must make time with my God and have faith that he will lead me.
He just wants to be first with his child, and for me to stop, listen and just be.

By Sue Ellen Howe

(Sue Ellen Howe is a member of SS. Francis and Clare Parish in Greenwood. Her poem is based on Mt 6:33.)

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